Play It Sweet In Heaven

Tomorrow will mark the 2 year anniversary that a very close friend to the family passed away. So this blog will be somewhat emotional if you would like to refrain from reading.

I was in the shower getting ready for work and usually I was the only one awake. My mom came in the bathroom and asked me a weird question, considering I was in the shower, and then proceeded to tell me when I am done to come out to the family room. I knew something was wrong and instantly felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I demanded her to tell me what was wrong, I didn't want to wait until I was done. A thousand thoughts started rushing through my head; my dad had left that morning to go to work could something have happened to him, was it my grandpa, etc. She finally spit the words out that Marty had passed away. I immediately didn't want to believe her, fell to the shower floor and started crying. My family wasn't going to tell me until I had gotten home from work because they weren't sure if I would be able to not go in that day, and working after you hear news like that would have been unbearable. After many minutes of crying, I had to work up the nerve to call work. It was one of the hardest phone calls I have ever made, spitting out the words that a very important person in my life was no longer there, was torture. Thankfully I had an amazing work family and they were all by my side throughout the whole ordeal.

I have known I wanted to go to NAU since I was in about 7th grade. If you asked me then why I would have said because it was a beautiful campus, it has a GREAT teaching program, and I could experience going away to college while still being close. If you ask me why I chose NAU now, those reasons are still valid, but I have another to add; Marty went there. He always seemed happy that I had chosen NAU as my college of choice and I wasn't going to let him down. A certain song was played at Marty's funeral and ironically that song came on my iPod the very first day of classes at NAU. I knew it was a sign from him, telling me he was proud of me.

"Words cannot do Marty justice in describing the wonderful man he was. He was an inspiration to others, loving, caring, giving, funny, full of laughter, and so much more. He was not just a friend of the family, he WAS family. I considered Marty as a second dad; he always cared for me as if I were his own. He made me feel special and proud to be who I was. I loved how he treated my family and the amazing friendship he and Bev had with my parents. I loved seeing how happy my dad was to have a best friend, a brother and how he was my mom’s “second” husband. Marty left a permanent imprint on my life, my heart, and my future. He encouraged me to go after my dreams, achieve my goals, and was willing to help me any way I needed it. He opened up his home, his cabin, his life, and his heart to my family and that will never be forgotten. Marty is everywhere. I see him when I see a deck of cards, when I watch the drag races, when I drive to Flagstaff, when I see a beautiful sky and know it’s his way of reminding us all that he is watching over us and loves us. I miss Marty more and more each day. Life has not been the same without him, but I know he is still watching over me and wants me to continue to succeed and achieve my goals. I love you Marty!"

{a letter I wrote for Marty's book}

I love you Marty and miss you dearly.

Love,

Little Ashlee

"Cryin' For Me"

Got the news on Friday morning
But a tear I couldnt find
You should me how I am supposed to live
Now you should me how to die
I was lost til Sunday morning
I woke up to face my fear
While writing you this good bye song I found a tear

Im going to miss that smile
Im going to miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
Id do it all again

So play it sweet in heaven
Cause thats right where you want to be
Im not cryin cause I feel so sorry for you
I am cryin for me

I got up and dialed your number
Your voice came on the line
That old familiar message
I have heard a thousand times
It just said, sorry that I missed you
Leave a message and god bless
I know that you think I am crazy
But I just had to hear your voice I guess

Im going to miss that smile
Im going to miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
Id do it all again

So play it sweet in heaven
Cause thats right where you want to be
Im not cryin cause I feel so sorry for you
I am cryin for me

Oh

So play your upsidedown, left handed
Backward bass guitar
Ill see you on the other side superstar

Im going to miss that smile
Im going to miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
Id do it all again

So play it sweet in heaven
Cause thats right where you want to be
Im not cryin cause I feel so sorry for you
I am cryin for me